Last week I suddenly became very, very sick. I have never been so sick before in my life. For days it felt like I was wandering on my way to the Underworld – darkness, visions, pain, and somehow, strange and beautiful music ringing constantly in my ears.
I finally went to the hospital and had emergency, life-saving surgery (actually, I suspect I would have been ok – just not very comforable for a long time, but that is what they told me). It was the first time I was ever in surgery where I had to have a breathing tube and be unconscious. It was terrifying. I almost died. I had to bear the consequences of submitting myself to the barber-surgeons and their physical brutality….and the chemicals. When I woke up my body stank of poison.
Some of the nurses there were very, very nice and wonderful. Some of them were not so nice, and they did things like tied me to the bed for hours so they could leave the breathing tube in for seven hours too long (the person in the room next to me kept almost dying, so they didn’t have time to take it out).
Even so, somehow, beautiful visions came to me, of rocks and sunshine, and strange and wonderful things. They couldn’t believe how fast I recovered.
I am doing better now, out of their hands, away from all the chemicals and tubes and the barber-surgeons. I am recovering quickly. Today I woke up and felt life in me again. I am so glad to be here still, in this beautiful world, with the people I love. I can’t wait until I have my strength back to go to the farm and see Matilda and my goats. Ethan showed me pictures of how much my garden has grown. And Chestnut is due to have her calf any day now.