Sitting with my kitty Dumpling and visiting my mother at her grave… enjoying the beautiful blooming fall and the turning of the year… baking…. making fun new things with roselle…. enjoying time with children…music jams…. ecstatic dance…. game nights… such a full year this year, often so overwhelming. The end of the rainbow was here a few weeks ago…. still looking for the gold….finding a little quiet time to sit here feels so refreshing,  I am just soaking it up. Sometimes I wish someone would ask me what I need, instead of always wanting something from me….. being called to set boundaries… it surprises me how you can just calmly and clearly state how you feel/ what needs to happen,  and people freak out…. reflecting on how intense this year has been….

Kicking off to a great start with my mother’s funeral, then first grandchild born, soon after idiot son arrested and still in jail, but at least oldest daughter speaking to me again after a year of boycott; then finally the Long Awaited Divorce – Thank goodness,  it’s such a freaking relief; actually finding myself feeling kind of sorry for Mean Mister Ethan, crashing around town in his dented Grunge-buggy truck with his super unfortunate Murky Dismal mustache because he looks so miserable all the time……experiencing TV-show worthy, ridiculously amusing relationship stories (no i don’t do any online dating, this is purely from life interactions, yes i am happy,  no I don’t need to be introduced to anyone please – it’s complicated)…. suffering through multiple times of super stressful too many interested guy friends converging all at once somewhere for some reason and needing to hang out around me, sometimes even turning out wearing matching bathing suits somehow (the amusement if the gods?)……traveling with my Dad, bad hyperactive little nephew, and youngest daughter on crazy car trip up to New York where I realize no one in my immediate family has any socal skills – how have I turned out as normal as I have???…. taking in a noisy raw fruitarian polyamorous nudist as a charity endeavor and now desperately trying to rehome – feels like i have an unpopular kind of dog no one wants to adopt… do you want her??? Please??… trying to work in gardening and sleep and healthy food and stretching my tired old muscles in between. Whew. Thanks for reading.